"You shouldn't look the way you do for college interviews" An open letter to a horrible dietitian

Dear horrible nutritionist/dietitian (whatever your title was with ALL your degrees), 

When I was 17 you told me I “shouldn’t look the way I do” when I was was about to go on college interviews. 

I needed help.

I went to your office because I was feeling lost with food and generally really depressed and you told me my value as a person was contingent on my ability to make myself physical smaller. That was my issue? really? 

Leaving your office that day I felt even worse than when I walked in. I felt alone, misunderstand, and numb. I never went back to your office because I knew you were wrong. I didn’t have the words to express how I felt then beside saying “mmmhmm. okay. right” and staying silent. Don't worry, I found them now: 

FUCK YOU. 

You are/were a medical provider that was supposed to create a safe space for people. The first words out of your mouth were that I shouldn’t look the way I looked. “Let’s get a handle on this. We don’t want you going to college interviews looking the way you do.” 

You were “well known” in your field. You came “highly recommended.” Why were you trying to base my value as a person on if the chicken breast I wanted to eat was the size of my palm or not? 

Didn’t you want to know how I was feeling? And why? I think you just wanted another person to walk away from your office as a "success story" that you could tell other clients. You didn’t care.

I’m so glad I knew enough to know that you were wrong. I never went back to your office. What about the other people? What about the other people that don’t have the same amount of trust in themselves (and resources) to know right from wrong with people in authority? Did those girls keep coming back to your office week after week feeling bad? Did you make them feel worse? 

This is not unique. Many people have the same experiences. Medical providers fail people every single day. There is so much more to health then the space a body takes up in a room. I don’t know how long it will take for people to realize that, but I hope they do so soon so that less 17 year old teenagers have to walk out of offices and into college interviews feeling the way I felt.

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PS. I got into my top choice college after going on my interviews “looking the way I do.” Now I help people so they aren’t caused the same harm you caused me. Thanks for letting me know what helping people does NOT look like. You were one of many.